...LAST WEEKEND TOGETHER...UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN...
I'm departing Australia feeling defeated, disappointed and really sad...I know that I fought my best fight with so much against me.
I'm walking away with the tendons in my right foot, probably too damaged to repair now, after nearly a year of just continuing to do what I had to do, not able to afford physiotherapy, or $300 just to be seen at A&E...Something's not right with my breasts, and my nervous system feels more compromised than ever...I have been battered and bruised walking the streets, or pulling heavy suitcases up three flights of stairs with no energy, and being turned away for all assistance because my status does not tick the right boxes...Family bonds have been fractured in the name of injustice...I have been unfairly judged without integrity, and I've been made to feel worthless and powerless...
With nowhere to turn...
To the people that I, so many times reached out to, just wanting to hear a kind voice, and that I have in turn hurt in my frustration and heartache...I am sorry...I was only trying to cope the best way I knew how with no resources...
Many times I balanced on the edge of giving up or fighting harder...And this whole time I've had to go deep within to keep going...And it was never because I needed psychiatric help with depression...It was surpassing the brink of utter hopelessness...And seeing no way out...
With all of that though, I have learnt so many difficult lessons and survival skills, and I have also seen many truths...More than ever, I know that money and 'things' cannot buy unconditional love...Self-worth, respect and sincere values.
...To my family and children who I'm leaving behind in Australia...I will carry you with me always...Remember who you are...Remember everything we've been through...And remember everything we've had to overcome as a family...
...And to my sister...I am sorry that I struggled to be there for you emotionally after you were raped...It was just really difficult for me to face that...But I did feel your pain...And I didn't know what to do with it; It was just another injustice born from the ripple effect of a Government that didn't have the time of day for a family going under...I couldn't find the right words in the depths of it all….I'm sorry…
...I'm no longer searching for a 'place to call home'...I am my safe place...Call me any time, day or night, when you need me...Our song will live on…Always, always...Love you all xxx
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