ENOUGH!

Apologies to those who are offended by this post...And to those who think I'm out of line...And to those who can't handle the raw reality...

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are put in a situation out of your control, leaving you to feel powerless and worthless, and silenced...Now multiply that moment by 7 years...No, go right back from when you were 4 years old...Can you feel the rising resentment and anger twisting your insides until your identity is so fractured that you no longer exist?

Now imagine the long lasting impact that would have on your psyche, your physical body and your heart...

...What you have just imagined, IS my story...My reality...My truth...

I have survived childhood sexual abuse from the age of 4 to 16 by my father, my cousin and the Baptist Church in South Africa, and I have been discriminated against with regards to an Australian immigration matter - My human right as a mother was ripped away from me without any consideration or compassion...

I DID NOT fight against all odds to still be here today, to feel now that I'm fighting a losing battle, while I feel so sick all the time from this injustice...Because negligence allowed a family to fall through the cracks of a system that has torn families apart for too long now...

For over 7 years I have taken it and taken it!

I have abided by all governmental rules, regulations and protocols! I have been played! I have been betrayed! And I have paid the price every day for gross misconduct...I have had to overcome financial hardship, homelessness, ill health...And still no answers...

For over 7 years now I have been patient...I have done the very best I can to remain positive, unable to plan my future...

I believed that if you fight for something REAL like human rights and children's rights, that there HAS to be justice... I was wrong! And let's face it, everyone sympathises stating 'I'm here for you' but when push comes to shove there's nobody there...

NO MORE!!!

I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL THE WAY I FEEL - I WAS WRONGED! AND I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALONE...

And to date I still have had NO explanation, or apology, as to what went wrong with my Australian Immigration matter.

While the people involved in this extremely complex case have continued living their lives, as if nothing happened, I've had to deal with the unimaginable...

It was ME who crawled through the ashes of betrayal in a marriage where vows meant nothing...Where I was raped...Where I was kicked out of the matrimonial home whilst severely dissociated...Where I was left homeless and penniless...

...Where I walked out of the marriage with nothing...

It was ME that was given 28 days to leave Australia without my children...

It was ME that was psychologically vulnerable, on my departure date to the UK in 2014, having undergone years of intensive psychotherapy for my childhood sexual abuse...

Who neglected their care of duty? ...Nobody cared!

It was ME that sat up crying putting together 'memory boxes' for my children, wondering where I'd find the strength to start over in another Country without the only thing that mattered to me, with little to no energy...

It was ME who was pulled aside at Kingsford Smith Airport, like a convict, to be told that I would NOT be allowed entry back into Australia for the next 3 years , even to visit my children (one of many instances of incorrect information given)...

It was ME who sobbed as my plane took-off...When all I wanted to do was run back and never let go of my kids - The reason I'd fought so hard to overcome my childhood sexual abuse...

It was ME who never experienced any other major health problems, other than chronic IBS, even through 4 pregnancies, until the inhumane happened...

It was ME who suffered severe insomnia from the day I landed in the UK, over 10,000 miles away from my children, for fear that I would miss a call from them if they needed me...That still continues today with the ongoing stress...

It was ME who lost over 30 kgs within the first year away from my children due to cyclical vomiting... And it was ME who was faced with undiagnosed chronic infection in my stomach that changed the cells in my intestine...

It was ME who was asked by the Australian High Commission in London why I had left my children and not remained onshore?...And it was ME who then had to face a soul-destroying interrogation just to receive a 3-week visitor visa in 2017...Can you imagine how it feels to drive away to return to the UK, and watch your son run after the cab...And you can feel his heart shatter...And there is nothing you can do about it?...

It was ME who, again was incorrectly advised, to return to Australia in 2018 on a visitor visa...Where a 2nd Immigration solicitor stabbed me in the back...

It was ME who had to continue working full-time on empty until I could no longer even get out of bed, and then had to undergo tests for stomach cancer and autoimmune disease, with medical bills I am still drowning in, as I am not eligible for any help in Australia...

It was ME who received documentation to pay child support to somebody who had wronged me and my children, and got away with it...When I was sleeping in a car in an abandoned car park...And yet when numerous reports were made to the Australian Department of Child Services & Justice by professional bodies, of child abuse occurring at the hands of this man, nothing was done...

It was ME who bled internally for 3 weeks unable to receive medical treatment due to financial hardship, and not being eligible for any help...

It was ME who lost so much...And ME who has gained Nothing!

It IS ME who has had ENOUGH!

TODAY I AM SPEAKING!

I WILL NO LONGER BE SILENCED AND PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY - IT'S NOT!!!

There is nothing more anyone can take from me...

Please don't tell me to be strong...Or to watch my tone...Or to curb my anger...

How would you feel?

I have been given no reason to believe in justice anymore...

Go ahead and judge me...But before you do...Consider how long you would've carried this injustice for?

This immigration matter has taken everything from me...They will not take my integrity!