You may never see this post...I really hope you do!...And if you do, please read this with an open, non-judgemental heart...I know that you were about thirteen-years old when your Mother passed away....
In 2008 when I became really mentally ill after triggered memories of my own childhood sexual abuse, I met your mother, Louise Forrester...
...Yes, I met her in a psychiatric unit...Believe me! Not all those who wander are lost (in the words of J. R. Tolkien)...Sometimes they just feel more than what most see...
Like so many of us, she was hurting...She was broken...From a past that was not entirely her own doing. She really tried!...She tried to heal, so that she could see you again...Hug you!...But like so many before her, she did not have justice on her side because she'd been 'labelled'.
She was vivacious and loyal, and mischievous, and she had a wicked sense of humour...She loved dancing (In the psych. ward when we were allowed music, she would dance to Celine Dion's 'I'm not sorry for love')...We saw a lot of sad things there, but she kept us all positive with her beautiful smile...Of course she was annoying sometimes...Like when she'd plaster my face-cream on her face (when I couldn't afford any).
She laughed at herself a lot, for the silly things she'd do...And she loved my children...She'd pay attention to the little 'insignificant' details that are actually the important details (my kids loved her!)...She became a part of our family, and she was always honest, no matter if it hurt...I really hope you both have some of her amazing qualities.
I know there are always three sides to a story...Yours...Theirs...
And God's, or whatever Higher Power you believe in...I think you both only heard one side of the story...You were only little when you were taken away from her...And I'm sorry for that.
I'm not writing this to lay blame, I only need you to know that it was your Mother's last wish for me to let you know that she really, really loved you, and she thought about you every single day !
I haven't had the courage to post this, until now, and it's not my intention to disrupt your lives...I just think it's important that you know...
She spoke about you both non-stop, and her face lit up with pride and joy when she spoke your names...Her favourite perfume was Chloe, and James, she knew you were a little 'leader'.
We were flat-mates for nearly two years...It was heart-breaking to watch how Type 1 Diabetes robbed her of life...She was brave though...She didn't even flinch when she had to inject herself.
The hypos and hypes scared me...I lived on high-alert. Often I'd have to call the ambulance because she was going into a coma...Or she'd begin fitting while we were doing a grocery shop...And I'd run to the orange juice isle to try and prevent the hypo...Or she'd become extremely abusive in frustration...
But when all is said and done...James and Chloe...Your Mother loved you! No, she wasn't perfect...None of us are...But she tried the very best she could! And the love that she always held for you both was undeniable!
I hope that you are both doing well, and soaring beyond limitations! Your Mother always believed in you!
All my love...May your Mother rest in peace...We really loved her...She had a BIG heart, whatever you may think xxx
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