LIFE SUCKS!
LIFE HURTS!
LIFE DISAPPOINTS!
LIFE DEFEATS!
BUT...
LIFE ALSO TEACHES WHAT CAN NEVER BE TAUGHT BY ANY BOOK
In the last couple of months, with my pending immigration matter, my struggles escalated, and broke me...My days began merging into one big blur! My mind was on continual high alert searching for plan after plan to make, that I knew wasn't available to me. My rising resentment at Australian Home Affairs and all those involved was beginning to poison me from the inside out...I couldn't breath...
I was really being tested!
I could find no reason to keep going...I sat in a car park crying, watching a world I felt no part of, pass me by...Frightening how disparaging people can be when they have no idea of somebody else's journey...I held my head up high, even though I did not feel confident, and the 'voice' in my heart kept repeating that my current circumstance does not define me.
Even the suitcase that holds everything I own, betrayed me! So now walking the streets, finding the nearest park, was even more challenging when I was so chronically exhausted that I felt like I could not take one more step. Nausea was turning my stomach...I had no more tears to cry...Nothing left that could be taken from me...Nothing more to lose...
At that point, I realised that in order to survive this, I had to again, find strength within...
I noticed the clouds dance and swirl to a silent symphony played out in the gentle breeze...I felt jealous of their freedom.
I noticed the magnificent power of ancient-old oaks, their trunks whispering untold tales of forgotten years...I was jealous of their stability and how grounded they were.
I noticed the perfect hymn of birdsong caressing my shattered soul, delivering a moments peace...I was jealous of their unrestricted fulfilment and joy.
I just sat there...And stayed sitting there...Time is all I have...Finally a 'quiet' overcame me...My thoughts became crystal clear...I could choose what battles I was prepared to give my precious energy and time to...Although I was a victim of circumstance, I decided that I still have choices, and that nobody will keep taking away my power!
Gratitude overwhelmed me, as I realised that it's only during storms that we learn to fly higher. In complacency there is no reason to seek answers for inner-strength or self-growth, or to do anything differently, or to learn anything new.
Through this injustice, I have been granted a new perspective, and a renewed respect for the homeless - They may be down and out, but that does not make them less than anyone else. Many of them have more 'heart' than those who believe self-worth and value lies in the house that they own, or the car that they drive, or how fat their bank balance is...
This journey has taught me so much I would never have learnt, had I not been placed into these circumstances, and more than ever, I will be a Voice to empower those hurting, and those feeling hopeless and disadvantaged.
Through these struggles, I also discovered who was really there for me, and not just 'talk'.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my sister and our 6 children for supporting me as best you all could without going under yourselves, for my best friend Si, over 10,000 miles away, who was there for me offering unconditional love and encouragement, a handful of close friends who took the time to care, and to Australian Super, especially Alex, who has supported me tirelessly through every challenge. I am extremely grateful and appreciative to you all.
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